I’ve just got back from having my ears syringed and I’m SO glad it’s finally been done. The waiting list for my local practice would’ve had me seen in May so I figured I’d spend the money to have it done privately and hopefully avoid the risk of them getting infected again.
Needless to say, the doctor I saw was fantastic. She was very interested to hear about my general state of health and she’s given me some very useful advice too. Firstly she recommended a change in my PPI medication, suggesting that Omeprazole might be a kinder alternative to the Lansaprazole that I’m currently on. Apparently Lansaprazole can cause fatigue in some people and I’ve got enough of that to begin with. Gah, I really do hate the fact that those antibiotics messed with my stomach to the extent I even have to take these meds.
She also made the case for me having a trial run on anti-depressants. I’ve been very reluctant to take them in the past as I’ve felt like my main struggles have been due to my circumstances rather than it being a constant fog I can’t shake. I mentioned how severe my anxiety had been recently and she made some valid points about how anxiety and depression are inextricably linked. She was saying that even though I don’t necessarily feel depressed on a day to day basis, she thinks that medication would significantly improve my ability to stave off anxiety attacks. That alone would be a massive step forward for me.
It’s strange, it’s only when Sarah’s been here that I’ve noticed just how bad it’s become. When I’m on my own I’m able to stay in my comfort zone and avoid doing any of the things that set off my anxiety. I guess my avoidance of my triggers has given me a false sense of control over the problem when in reality it’s still lurking in the background, waiting for the right situation to crop up.
As an example, I couldn’t watch the latest Louis Theroux episode because of my irrational fear of having one of the illnesses displayed on the show. I was really looking forward to watching it until I saw the subject matter and I just couldn’t do it. Within the first few minutes I could feel my stomach churning even more than usual and I already felt tetchy. It’s ridiculous and frustrating in equal measure. The logical side of me knows that it’s ridiculous and yet my body/brain let me know in no uncertain terms that it’s triggering something in me. I hate it.
With that said, I’m leaning towards having a trial period and seeing how it goes. My GP’s setting up an appointment for me to see a counsellor so I’m hoping that having a verbal outlet to go along with the medication might help me to see some benefits.